Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
