I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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