We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
