He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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