People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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