Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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