Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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