I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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