Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize