DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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