guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
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