I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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