; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
