You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
