I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
