You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
