She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
