i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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