im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
