3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
