I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
