so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
