You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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