I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
