She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
