puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
