I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
