Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
