I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
