And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
