That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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