i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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