At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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