Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
