I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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