why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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