last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
