I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
