If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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