He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
