I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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