so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
