could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
