party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
