tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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