u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
