I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
