best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's blow job season.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
