I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
