with your own penis?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
