did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
