I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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