I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
