He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
