Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
