just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
