she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
