I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
wow bdsm is so cute
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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