Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
