i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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