i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
