now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
