Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
