i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I have aggressive nipples.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
