New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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